Well, the service has been pretty good up until now ...

Peter had his 2nd birthday a few weeks ago and, of course, like most 2 year olds, he was more excited with the party balloons than the actual party itself.

Can't blame him.

What I did notice is that some of his playmates his same age - mostly girls, as he is a chip off the ole block and is a ladies man - talk better than most of my patients. Well, they're definitely more polite.

"I'd like some more milk please, Ms. Mills," said the cherub with the golden curls, holding her cup out to Laura as she passes.

"Milk - me, me. pease!" chirped the younger woman of the group.

Peter just looked at me, grunted, made a flapping hand sign with his right hand and then threw his plastic cup in my general direction. It bounced off one of the cats who slinked off but will probably retaliate by shitting in the bathtub later.

It then occurred to me that Peter doesn't need to speak because we are typical older, doting parents of an only child. He grunts and points and we give him what he wants, within reason.

Laura bought some signing videos which he loved to watch ad nauseum when he was 6 to 9 months old - until he broke the DVD player. As a result, he has a good repetoire of signs (which by the way are the same American Sign Language signs) and can get his point across for most of his life's neccessities at this point.

He's also physically pretty advanced - he's tall and strong and amazingly adept at most fine motor activities as well. Most pediatricians note that boys also learn to talk later and there is a trade off balance between the physical and mental milestones. And, with his learning how to sign, I'll be surprised if he won't talk until he's five.

(it probably doesn't help that his current favorite DVD's feature a penguin who speaks a made up language and a monkey that basically points and grunts ... hmmm)

This will probably be a moot issue in several months (in fact, I'll probably wish he'd shut up sometimes!) but for now, as a fairly intelligent professional with a fairly intelligent wife (who regularly kicks my ass at scrabble and boggle), it's frustrating when your offspring isn't at the crest of the development wave.

I should say he does have a handful of words, but most of them sound like something Jodie Foster says in the movie "Nell". (May an tay in the wiiiinnn!!).

I know life's a long ride and he'll probably (hopefully!) do well and contribute to society, but the one thing I wish he'd learn how to say is "daddy".

Then, I wouldn't care if he never learns another word.