He who smelt it ...

Let's just start off by saying that a high fiber diet is good for you. It lowers cholesterol and decreases your chances of developing colorectal cancers.

On the other hand, fiber has been known to increase your chances of ... farting.

Yes. Flatus. Passing gas. Tooting. Pooting. Breaking wind. Cutting the cheese. Or, as my nephews so eloquently put it when they were young, "Making air poops".

Let's also get strainght that I'm not a morning person. I can wake up early if I need to but I don't like it and I don't think my brain starts working until about 8am.

So, I was slogging away on the treadmill at 6am this morning with my iPod on that was blasting my workout music (alot of harder alternative rock and some old school punk, by the way) and I was focusing on not falling off the damn thing (sad story - for another time). After a few minutes, I noticed that the people on the treadmills on either side of me had moved farther away.

Also, remember that walking and running causes the psoas muscles (hip flexors) to "massage" the colon as well.

I didn't think too much of it as first, until there was a little gap in my music and I heard myself "let off a little gas". I realized that the "silent but deadly" farts that I was letting loose for the last 5 minutes - were not "silent" - and obviously everyone else not wearing headphones in my vicinity noticed. Then I got a little whiff of the offending gas as it percolated through my gym shorts after a little spurt of speed at the end of my 2nd mile, and I realized anyone with a snese of smell probably noticed too!

At first, I was a little embarassed (I saw my heart rate monitor increase a little) but that soon passed. Sure, I may become to be known at the gym as the "farting guy with the obnoxious tshirts" but I don't care - it may even work to advantage - I'll always have some space around me at the time of the day when I'm at my most "antisocial-ist".

Peace. I'm going to go have a salad with cucumbers.